How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
