what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
