i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
