How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
