doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
