well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How does one acquire holy water?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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