Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
