It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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