It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize