I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
