So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
