at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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