We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
