would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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