Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
