is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
