Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
