We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
