u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
