I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
