I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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