My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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