one might say we're banned from that church
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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