im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
