Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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