ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Terrible idea I love it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
