It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
