i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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