the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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