Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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