wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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