I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
