I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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