I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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