screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
