OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
All I want is dick and wine.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
