he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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