I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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