why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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