Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
