He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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