I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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