i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
