he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
