and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize