I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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