She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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