just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
