I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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