Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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