first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
