I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
