So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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