Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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