she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
