he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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