Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize